Identifying Codependency- How To Do It?
While many of us may think we are self-sufficient and can handle everything on our own, we can all fall into the trap of codependency at some point in our lives. Whether it’s financial or emotional, codependency can affect even the most capable and confident individuals when they go through stressful or emotional times in their lives. However, identifying and confronting codependency doesn’t have to be difficult; this step-by-step guide will walk you through the process, so you can learn how to help yourself and others in your life overcome codependency issues together.
The term codependency describes someone who is involved in an unhealthy relationship with another person, often one suffering from addiction, depression, or another mental illness. Codependents are typically very needy and worried about their loved one’s happiness and wellbeing, to the point where they may feel insignificant and useless without them, experience extreme fear at the thought of losing them, or obsessively worry about how their loved one feels towards them.
Codependency, also known as relationship addiction or love addiction, can take many forms in romantic relationships but always boils down to one simple truth—a compulsive and chronic reliance on others (people, substances, etc.) to fill an inner void, quell anxiety or other emotional pain, and manage stress. Although most frequently associated with romantic partnerships, codependency can appear in friendships and family relationships as well. This article will help you identify codependency in your relationships so that you can seek healthier options for yourself and your loved ones.
Codependency vs. Dependence
Codependency is often confused with dependence, but they are not the same. Dependence refers to a healthy dependency, such as needing someone for emotional support. Codependency, on the other hand, is an unhealthy reliance on someone else for your happiness. It can be difficult to identify codependency because it’s typically wrapped up in seemingly positive behaviours, like being supportive or helpful. The following four symptoms may point to codependency:
1) You feel uneasy if you’re not needed by someone
2) You put others’ needs before your own
3) You’re overly attached and protective of those you love
4) You make excuses for others’ poor behaviour and go out of your way to keep them happy Codependency does not always include addiction, but when it does, that person becomes the fix for the codependent person. For example, a woman feels lost without her alcoholic husband. Her entire life revolves around keeping him sober and making sure he never drinks again. When he inevitably does drink again, she feels angry and abandoned—even though she was driving him to drink! In this case, she has created co-dependency through her excessive caretaking of her spouse.
A codependent relationship is when one person is excessively dependent on another person for their emotional or physical well-being. This can happen when someone is in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic, or when someone has a parent or child with special needs. If you’re worried that you might be in a codependent relationship, here are some signs to look out for You feel bad about yourself when your partner doesn’t show up.
Your feelings of self-worth come from what your partner thinks of you.
You have trouble spending time apart from your partner. You put the needs of your partner ahead of your own, and theirs ahead of yours. Furthermore, you take care of problems that should be dealt with by your partner. Besides, you constantly make excuses for them when they don’t live up to their responsibilities. You feel like you always need to apologize because your faults seem worse than theirs, even though you try not to do anything wrong at all. The question is: how do we know if we’re in a codependent relationship? It’s easy to start off as just friends who are helping each other out. It’s important to ask yourself whether your relationship is unhealthy.
Signs of Codependence
- You feel responsible for other people’s feelings and actions.
- You find yourself making excuses for other people’s bad behaviour.
- Your self-worth is based on how others perceive you.
- You have a hard time saying no when people ask you for favours.
- You often put other people’s needs above your own.
- Furthermore, you start feeling like everything has to be just right before you can act or make decisions.
- When the people around you are happy, you feel good about yourself; but when they’re angry, sad, or hurt, then that reflects poorly on you as well.
- You tend to get used as a shoulder to cry on my friends and family members who require someone to listen to them vent their frustrations with life in general.
Is It Actually Codependence or Dependence?
It’s important to be able to identify codependence to protect yourself from being in an unhealthy relationship. However, it’s also significant to know the difference between codependence and dependence. Just because you rely on your partner for emotional support does not mean you’re codependent. Here are five ways to tell the difference:
- Codependent relationships are often one-sided, with one person being emotionally or physically dependent on the other.
- In a healthy relationship, both partners depend on each other equally.
- If someone is codependent, they might feel as if they can’t function without their partner by their side—but that doesn’t happen in a healthy relationship, where both people are independent individuals who still have their lives outside the partnership.
- The first step to overcoming codependency is recognizing that you have a problem and identifying what exactly triggers these feelings of neediness and dependency.
- Remember, just because you feel like this now doesn’t mean you always will. Remember that our needs change over time, and occasionally, we’ll want more space than others. You may want more help today and less tomorrow.
If you find yourself feeling excessively needy or requiring constant attention, then this could be indicative of codependency, and it’s best to seek professional help as soon as possible so that your needs can be addressed before they worsen any further.
What Is Codependence Exactly?
Codependence is defined as an emotional and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual’s prolonged exposure to, and practice of, dysfunctional family behaviours. In other words, it’s when someone is too reliant on another person or thing for their happiness and well-being. They depend so much on the person or object in question that they can’t function properly without them. Signs of codependency include having a low self-esteem, inability to make decisions alone, trouble with intimacy, and addiction.
However, while these signs may be indicative of a problem, they are not necessarily symptomatic of codependency. For example, having trouble making decisions could be symptomatic of anxiety; this would then require professional help to find out what the root cause is. When it comes to identifying codependency, there’s no one specific way to tell if you’re suffering from it. You’ll need to take a look at your relationships and see if any of the previously mentioned symptoms are present in your life.
We all have different relationships with different people in our lives. Some of these relationships are healthy, while others may be codependent. It’s important to be able to identify which kind of relationship you have with someone so that you can determine whether it is healthy for you. Here are some tips on how to identify a codependent relationship,
- Do you feel like the other person controls your feelings and actions?
- Do you rely heavily on the other person for approval?
- Does this person make decisions for both of you, without your input?
- Does this person make decisions about where to live and work, but does not consider what your goals are as well?
- Are you willing to put aside your needs and wants to keep the other person happy?
- Have you been using drugs or alcohol to cope with problems in the relationship?
- Do you neglect your responsibilities at home, school, or work because of time spent with this person? If any of these questions are yes, then this might be a sign that you’re in a codependent relationship. While it might seem like there’s nothing wrong if the other person cares about you enough to control aspects of your life, they aren’t concerned about who YOU are as an individual.